Name: Stretchy Sumo Angel
Duration: P00H03M25S
Description: I was playing some kind of crazy card game with some friends in the summer of 2017. I cannot remember the name of it, but it involved some kind of fighting tournament. In the first battle, I ended up as an angel with stretchy powers and sumo skills. Other player called me “Stretchy Sumo Angel,” and I wrote a song about it.

Stretchy Sumo Angel

from Hey Blondie, How’s It Going? by Grottomatic

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about

I was playing some kind of crazy card game with some friends in the summer of 2017. I cannot remember the name of it, but it involved some kind of fighting tournament. In the first battle, I ended up as an angel with stretchy powers and sumo skills. Other player called me “Stretchy Sumo Angel,” and I wrote a song about it.

lyrics

The big day has come, it’s time to enter the ring
And nobody here knows of the beatdowns I bring
Even when on opposing corners, I can still reach across
I may look like a total freak, but I can still show them who’s boss

CHORUS:
I am the stretchy sumo angel, and the fight will be mine
Equal parts elastic, pudgy, and divine
Stand back and cower
At my incredible power
Because I am the stretchy sumo angel

I wrap my opponents with just one arm in a grip
While I use the other to double as a whip
My wings work, but I am not the greatest flyer
It’s hard to stay off the ground with my spare tire

CHORUS

“I may look like the incarnation of a bunch of ridiculous gimmicks, but you better believe that I am a rubber-infused fat-loaded flying machine! I’ll take you down like nothing you’ve ever seen before. Seriously, there’s nothing else like me, so it’s technically impossible to be matched. But still, I am ready to stretch my torso out as much as necessary to fit that victory belt around my incredibly wide waist! No one can resist the preposterous power of the unreal mix-and-match Stretchy Sumo Angel!”

credits

from Hey Blondie, How’s It Going?, released August 18, 2018
Words and music by Tim Stevens.

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