Sniffing at My Fingertips

from by Grottomatic

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Now this is a habit that I really have, and it dates back to when I was fourteen. But seeing as it has no serious effects on my life, what is the harm in taking trivial problems seriously?


Don’t ask me how it began; I can’t remember where or when
But if I ever drop the habit, I’ll just pick it up again
I guess I had something strange on my hands and felt compelled
To learn a little more about the stuff by finding out just how it smelled
And now I find I just can’t help myself
It’s too far out of my control
It makes me look like a stupid freak
And realize there’s a much bigger toll
It takes over my soul

I’m sniffing at my fingertips
Be it hygienic or be it gross,
I must check them with my nose
I’m sniffing at my fingertips
It’s a habit, but it’s quite swell
Taste is eighty percent smell

Do you enjoy the smell of your recently-washed hands?
I’ve got something even worse that nobody else understands
I smell them before I wash, no matter what I’ve just done
In its own creepy little way, I’ve found that it’s quite fun
I clean out my ears and finger-comb my hair
But my nose just can’t get enough
My friends say, “Hey, sicko, quit it already!”
“Golly, why would you want to smell that stuff?”
It makes life so tough


When I find an itch, I scratch, but coping ain’t no breeze
Freshly scratched skin to me is just like honey to bees
Just popped a zit; oh, now I have to check it out
Smells just like all the others before, no doubt
I could hear the wind blowing through the woods
Or even see a solar eclipse
I could trade it for the taste of fruit-filled baked goods
Or to have a woman kiss me on the lips
And yet I sniff my fingertips!


Yo, I’ve done a lot of sniffin’ with the passage of time
I’m sniffin’ all crazy kinds of dirt, pus, and slime
And yet I seldom find somethin’ I can’t take
I never get tired, I never need a break
I take it to the nose, I’m sniffin’ with the pros
I’ll follow any odor, wherever it goes
I guess this yucky habit takes its toll
My other senses have a lofty goal

(Such a lofty goal)
(Still sniffing after all this time)
(And I still can’t put it down)
(By now I fear I’ll never kick the habit)
(Still sniffin’, still sniffin’, still sniffin’ like a boss)
(Maybe I’ll have to join Finger-Sniffers Anonymous)
(Still can’t stop sniffin’, I don’t think I’ll ever stop sniffin’ at my fingertips)
(Save yourself while you still can, don’t start sniffin’ your fingertips)


from Tornado of Squee, released March 18, 2015
words and music by Tim Stevens





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