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Master Of Phobias

from On No Budget by Grottomatic

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about

No, I don't suffer from these crazy phobias. I just found a list of these on unusualphobias.com.

lyrics

What if I can’t find the source of a sound?
What if I just find a corpse on the ground?
What if I spontaneously combust when no one’s around?
What if I die from the light of the sun?
What if I fall over when I run?
What if I’m with a girl and she cuts one?
What if I come across a rip in time and make a drastic change in history?
What if I have to go into the woods and be surrounded by coniferous trees?

CHORUS:
I’m the master of phobias; I fear everything
When it comes to paranoia, I am the king
I can’t even go for a walk in the park
I’d lock myself in a closet, but I fear the dark

What if a psychic and I should meet?
What if my socks get too damp on my feet?
What if I can’t hold it on the road and I ruin the seat?
What if the world around me is a play?
What if a whole nest of bees comes my way?
What if I’m in a strong wind and it blows my clothes away?
What if I pop the question to my girl and she tells me to go and die?
What if my weight drops down to zero and I fall into the sky?
Oh, no!

CHORUS

I’m afraid of getting chopped to bits by the shrapnel that comes from mowing the lawn
I’m afraid of being stuck all alone in the dark, so I keep the night-light on
I’m washing my hands constantly because I fear germs and fleas
I try to find comfort in the Bible, but then I find gruesome prophecies
Somebody help me!

CHORUS
CHORUS

It makes me scared just singing about it, so I’ll just end this song!

credits

from On No Budget, released December 12, 2012

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