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Little is spoken of the main competition to VHS in the glory days of video cassettes. Its quality was much better, but alas, I do not remember the difference between the two formats.


Showing feature films at home started out as a big deal
One needed a bulky projector, and the film was on a reel
Of course, the picture had to be lined up with a practically useless screen
It took such money and time and effort, and it was hard to stay serene

Then along came a solution back in the disco age
A new medium in home entertainment turned history’s page
The machine may have been convenient, but it cost a couple grand
And it played movies on cassettes that could be held in one hand

But there was an alternative to VHS before the DVD
Of course, it was also a video cassette of a higher quality
It was much less popular for reasons still unknown
I never understood the difference, but it bothers me to the bone

I guess that’s enough of the trivial facts
Now it’s time to get down to brass tacks
For the quality that VHS lacks
Yet history let it slip through the cracks
Now just try to relax and please don’t turns your backs
Go get some popcorn and other movie snacks
As I speak of a format currently used only by old-fashioned technology maniacs

I saw a living puppet’s nose grow longer with each lie
I saw a man fix a wrecked car, not knowing it could fly
I saw an immigrant mouse seek his family in NY
Little did I realize I was watching a glorious medium die

As far as history is concerned, it’s right there with 8-tracks
But I never had a chance to compare and appreciate Betamax


from Tornado of Squee, released March 18, 2015
words and music by Tim Stevens





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