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Adulthood Is Fast Approaching

from Tornado of Squee by Grottomatic

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about

If your infant son could pass words of wisdom to you, he would probably say something like this.

lyrics

Nine months safe and sound you sheltered me
We both know that was too recently
Treating my spit-ups and my diaper rash
Sure takes a bite out of your extra cash
This is a fleeting stage
I will grow in size and age
And knowledge will develop in my brain
So you’d better cherish this time.

CHORUS:
Calm me down when you hear me scream
Interrupting your time to dream
Adulthood is fast approaching
Pamper me while you still can
Someday I’ll be a fully-grown man
Adulthood is fast approaching
And you can’t make it stop

You sway a loaded spoon towards my face
And I spew that stuff all over the place
Leave me with a sitter, but I’ve yet to learn
That every time you go away you return
But there will come a day
When I will go away
And my whereabouts will drive you insane
I won’t be a baby forever!

CHORUS

Tear some paper or pour water on the floor
It’s a hoot now, but it will become a bore
Because I’ll get stimulation at preschool
Then I’ll start doing math and trying to be cool
Then I’ll don the cap and gown
Attend college in another town
And this will be nothing more than Memory Lane
By the way, I need to be changed.

CHORUS

Seal me tightly in the seat
Riding in the car is neat
Adulthood is fast approaching
Binky, blanket, favorite plush
8-to-5 comes in a rush
Adulthood is fast approaching
And you can’t make it stop

I still can’t eat solid food
I don’t care who sees me nude
Adulthood is fast approaching
Time will quickly slip away
Blink to see my wedding day
Adulthood is fast approaching
And you can’t make it stop

No matter what you do
It’s just a phase I’m going through
It is my destiny to leave you

credits

from Tornado of Squee, released March 18, 2015
words and music by Tim Stevens

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